[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.2s] You've landed back in the teleportation chamber in Waterdeep.
[6.3s] I magically have bigger boobs than I did before.
[8.7s] You hear familiar footsteps of Leosin.
[11.2s] We thought we'd go grab a drink before we get back to it tomorrow morning.
[15.4s] Tomorrow come see me and we'll go over some final things.
[19.0s] We swing the door open to the Yawning Portal and I say,
[23.6s] this round's on me.
[25.8s] Something happened.
[28.2s] You guys, I killed somebody.
[31.3s] I don't feel like I had a choice.
[32.8s] This was different.
[34.2s] The dagger made you do it?
[36.2s] Well, I need to ask, you didn't want to say anything
[39.8s] or you couldn't say anything?
[41.4s] I didn't want to tell you.
[45.0s] Why is it so busy?
[46.1s] Oh, you fuckers are in here.
[47.8s] It seems like we haven't seen each other in months.
[50.7s] Yeah.
[51.1s] Oh, yeah. How's the pirate life?
[52.5s] How's the pirate life?
[53.4s] I mean, I'm practically like executive captain.
[56.5s] We're leaving in the ship.
[57.6s] So like he, he off.
[59.2s] They're airships, sweetie.
[60.5s] They're air.
[60.9s] I don't think you need to row them.
[62.6s] Oh, God.
[63.1s] Do they have you rowing in the bottom of the airship?
[66.2s] Oh, you poor thing.
[67.5s] Has anyone seen Batty?
[69.8s] He went off with the arcane bros.
[71.8s] Seems a lot more like frat house when you change it
[74.8s] from the arcane brotherhood to the arcane bros.
[77.1s] Yeah.
[77.6s] Kelfa.
[78.3s] Gama.
[80.2s] Gandalf.
[81.0s] Gamafita.
[83.6s] Real sausage party.
[87.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[89.0s] We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
[91.7s] and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More.
[93.8s] And with me today is Amy More.
[96.5s] I'm looking at an Elvish to English dictionary,
[100.3s] and I play Thea Amastasia.
[102.8s] Also with us, Tom Laird.
[105.5s] I'm looking at a notebook where I wrote something down from last time,
[109.9s] and it doesn't make any sense to me now.
[112.6s] And I play FlintFirebeard.
[114.4s] And Carla Johnson.
[116.5s] I'm looking at my dear friend's faces.
[120.8s] And I play Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
[122.8s] Still don't have video.
[124.3s] Still no video.
[125.4s] Still no video.
[126.7s] Which, I mean, I was going to say I'm not looking at myself,
[130.2s] but I wouldn't have been looking at myself anyway.
[132.4s] My view hasn't changed at all.
[135.3s] Carla's just zeroed in on the tiny picture of her the whole time.
[138.2s] She's like, yeah, I'm looking good.
[141.4s] This three-year-old picture is amazing.
[146.6s] Way to go, photographer.
[148.6s] There's no thunder in my dictionary.
[151.9s] That's too bad.
[152.8s] Because elves don't have a word for thunder?
[155.5s] Apparently not.
[156.4s] Loud claps in the sky.
[158.2s] I'm looking at boom.
[159.9s] They live for thousands of years, but they don't know what thunder is.
[163.9s] Oh, I had a good segue from Carla didn't have a camera to...
[168.3s] If you want to get Carla a camera,
[170.2s] go to Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Caps.
[174.1s] Purely selfish Patreon push this week.
[178.5s] Yeah, there we go.
[179.6s] When being part of our community,
[181.0s] it helps the podcast be a lot better with every episode,
[184.4s] unlike last episode.
[186.1s] Oh, boy.
[186.6s] That was a real...
[187.0s] Which was miles above the other one.
[189.7s] It was very good for its own reasons.
[196.5s] We also forgot to dedicate an episode to a patron,
[199.8s] which we realized at the end of the episode.
[204.2s] Today's episode is dedicated,
[206.9s] and I'm very sorry if I get your name wrong,
[209.4s] Kiyoti McDermott.
[211.8s] Who's been so active on Facebook.
[212.7s] Hey, Kiyoti.
[213.8s] So active on Facebook.
[214.8s] Yeah, a lot of activity on Facebook.
[216.8s] Yep.
[218.0s] Thank you very much.
[219.4s] You rock.
[220.2s] And if you want to join us on Patreon,
[221.8s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[224.0s] And that's where it is.
[227.9s] And there's all sorts of different tiers.
[230.2s] So if you do feel like you can contribute,
[232.4s] which is amazing.
[233.8s] Don't think you're not welcome here if you can't,
[236.2s] because by all means, that's totally OK.
[238.2s] But if you can, there's varying levels of rewards
[241.4s] and things that you'll get a little peace back.
[244.7s] It's all right.
[246.1s] And if you can't, like Tom said,
[247.8s] there's lots of places you can join us.
[250.2s] We're not an exclusive club for members only.
[254.6s] Discord, anybody's welcome over there.
[257.0s] Link down in the description.
[258.2s] You can come join us and we chat with everybody.
[261.0s] And Facebook, come join our group,
[262.7s] the Reckless Play Guild.
[263.8s] You get to talk to us,
[265.0s] as well as three other awesome podcasts,
[267.2s] Dark Dice, The End of Time and Other Bothers,
[269.5s] and The Lucky Die.
[270.5s] They're all hanging out in there.
[271.9s] And we're all having a great time talking D&D
[273.9s] and all those great shows.
[275.6s] But that's it.
[276.2s] That's all.
[277.3s] Fuck it.
[277.6s] Let's play D&D and actually play some D&D this time, maybe.
[283.1s] We'll see.
[283.8s] We'll see.
[284.6s] Don't call me on that.
[285.3s] I mean, we talked about mechanics and level up.
[288.6s] We talked about leveling up.
[290.9s] For the first half of the episode.
[292.1s] And then it really went off the rails.
[295.3s] Off the rails, you meant got better,
[297.2s] then you're exactly correct.
[298.3s] You got it.
[299.8s] I thought maybe, I don't know.
[302.1s] Here's my thinking.
[303.1s] I was like, hmm,
[304.9s] I feel like there's a little lull in the conversation.
[307.4s] Let's throw Flametkins into the mix.
[309.1s] Always a good idea.
[310.6s] Always a great idea.
[312.5s] I was making tearful confessions
[314.2s] and she brought the whole thing around.
[315.5s] It was amazing.
[317.0s] Yep.
[317.8s] It's a real roller coaster second half of an episode.
[320.9s] Yeah, real like MVP cameo appearance.
[324.4s] That was solid.
[325.6s] Totally.
[326.1s] So we find you.
[327.8s] You've woken up the next morning.
[329.6s] Flametkins has gone off on her boat.
[332.6s] So she's not with you.
[334.7s] But you are exiting your rooms
[338.1s] unless you say you want to do something differently
[340.2s] before you do that.
[342.2s] And you meet in the hallway heading to Leosin's chamber.
[346.7s] Now, Flint's just got some like wicked dry mouth,
[349.4s] but other than that, he's good to go.
[351.3s] Thea doesn't get hungover.
[353.2s] Thea, could you just like Shazam me a little?
[356.7s] I'm not feeling like great.
[360.0s] A little bit of a headache, a little bit.
[363.4s] You know, could you just do your little?
[364.9s] Do I look like an IV?
[367.4s] You want me to heal wounds on you
[369.0s] because you have a hangover?
[370.5s] Could you just?
[371.2s] The real Myers cocktail.
[373.2s] Yes, exactly.
[373.9s] I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.
[375.9s] Can you do that?
[377.7s] Yes.
[380.6s] Yar.
[381.2s] Yeah, I put my hand on her head.
[384.6s] Are you opposed morally?
[386.9s] No, it's never occurred to hangover before.
[389.7s] I've never had to.
[391.0s] I lay my hand on top of new Laura's head
[394.2s] and I cast heal wounds.
[398.9s] Maybe healing word.
[400.3s] I'm not sure.
[401.3s] I heal her of her hangover
[403.1s] and then I slap her in the back of the head.
[405.4s] Like a last time.
[408.1s] Thanks, buddy.
[408.9s] And you make it to Leo's office
[412.5s] and he's sitting in there,
[414.7s] as he usually does,
[416.0s] writing on some papers
[416.9s] and he looks up and he says,
[419.6s] you had a good night, I hope.
[423.6s] Yeah, I mean, I guess if you didn't
[425.2s] hear anything about it from the city guards,
[427.2s] then I guess it was a good night.
[429.7s] The warrant went out,
[432.6s] but I took care of it.
[434.3s] I took care of it.
[435.1s] Don't worry.
[435.7s] All right.
[436.3s] Thanks, Leo.
[437.7s] No problem.
[438.7s] It's much appreciated.
[440.0s] And I got your backs now and post-mortem.
[444.1s] Hopefully we don't get there,
[445.8s] but that's what we're here today to discuss.
[449.7s] There's some paperwork
[450.7s] that everybody has to fill out before
[453.6s] we go on our merry way
[455.0s] because you three,
[456.3s] you have accumulated quite a handsome wealth
[459.4s] and we don't want that
[460.3s] just to go into the wrong hands.
[462.5s] So where should we send your belongings?
[466.7s] If the worst happens.
[468.2s] Oh, let's just say it.
[469.3s] If we're eaten by Tiamat.
[471.0s] Yeah, it definitely didn't sound great.
[472.6s] I mean, I'm not the best at this.
[474.3s] I don't know why they gave me that job.
[476.1s] That's okay.
[476.7s] Well, you know us the best.
[478.2s] It's true.
[479.0s] You're the best at the actual filling out of the paperwork.
[481.6s] Just maybe not the human interaction that comes.
[486.6s] Yeah, yeah.
[488.2s] You can send all of my things back to Silvery Moon
[491.7s] and any wealth that I have accumulated
[497.4s] can be sent to the library
[499.1s] at the university in Silvery Moon.
[501.3s] Of course, of course.
[502.6s] I mean, you want all of your things sent to the library
[505.6s] or just your wealth?
[508.5s] Just my wealth.
[509.8s] The rest can go to my mother and my father.
[514.9s] Of course.
[516.1s] And Lara?
[518.6s] I guess I want two different plans.
[522.6s] First, if I die, but Flint and Thea live,
[528.3s] then I want them to have my things
[530.9s] and I want Donnie to stay with them if he can.
[536.6s] Oh, Nulara gets guacamole.
[541.3s] My mom's not an animal person.
[542.8s] Of course, yeah.
[543.7s] Yes, I am.
[544.3s] Sorry, sorry, Nulara.
[545.6s] Fair enough.
[547.6s] And if the absolute worst happens
[550.3s] and we're all gone, then, yeah, I would like
[558.0s] all of my money, my wealth to go to my family
[563.8s] split evenly amongst all my brothers
[567.0s] to do with as they will.
[568.4s] Any magical items that I have, though,
[571.0s] other than the amulet of temporary health
[574.4s] should also go back to my family.
[576.1s] It's a family piece.
[577.8s] But any other magical items I have,
[580.9s] I'd like to, you know, re-donate here.
[584.8s] I mean, my family, they're not going to be able to use them.
[588.5s] They're not going to want them.
[589.4s] They have a simple life.
[590.4s] But maybe another warrior could use them after I'm gone.
[595.5s] Except for maybe one.
[598.6s] Right, Nulara?
[608.6s] But maybe just not that one.
[610.9s] Maybe just not that one to be given away.
[615.2s] Maybe.
[615.6s] Right.
[616.2s] No, you make a good point.
[619.6s] Maybe one to be destroyed.
[622.6s] You, yes.
[624.0s] Thank you, Fia.
[626.3s] Good point.
[629.1s] So let's put a pin in that.
[632.9s] If none of us make it,
[634.1s] I also don't think Donnie would be happy
[635.9s] with my family so isolated.
[637.8s] But maybe he could go back to that place
[641.9s] where I flew on the...
[645.8s] What did I fly on?
[646.5s] Hippogriff?
[647.1s] The hippogriff?
[648.0s] Thank you.
[648.2s] I was like, the Griffahip?
[653.3s] Was it hippogriffs or was it griffins?
[655.3s] No, hippogriffs.
[657.6s] Okay.
[658.2s] Which is me not remembering anything for the last two or so.
[660.7s] I remember because I was like, Harry Potter.
[663.4s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[664.6s] And everyone was like, what's a hippogriff?
[666.2s] I'm like, well, let me tell you.
[667.4s] Yeah, no, that was totally it
[669.0s] because it was the same as the Harry Potter thing
[670.9s] because I looked it up because I didn't know.
[673.4s] I think he would be really happy there.
[677.0s] I'd like it if he went there.
[678.5s] Joining the hippogriff outfit.
[681.4s] Yeah, yeah, Leos and I have this one item
[685.8s] that I don't want anyone to get.
[689.0s] And in fact, I'd like to talk to you
[690.7s] a little bit about that, but I don't know.
[692.6s] Maybe we should let Flint do his thing.
[695.6s] Oh, sure, yes, yes.
[697.8s] Yeah, Flint, do your thing.
[699.6s] I mean, usually people ask to do this
[702.2s] of their own accord by themselves,
[703.8s] but that's totally good
[706.0s] that we're doing this all together here.
[708.5s] You didn't offer to bring us into any separate rooms.
[712.7s] To be fair, yeah.
[713.6s] I think we might be in the hall right now.
[715.7s] Well, he's not trying to exact a confession
[718.2s] out of us separately.
[719.3s] Are we in the hall?
[720.9s] Are we just standing?
[721.6s] No, we're in the office.
[722.7s] I'm seated down.
[724.0s] We really don't want to split the party
[726.2s] even for our personal legal transactions.
[729.0s] Not even a little bit.
[730.9s] OK, yes, Flint.
[732.7s] OK, I guess I'm up then.
[735.4s] Yeah, so I guess if kind of same game plan
[738.7s] initially there, if I don't make it
[741.4s] and these two do, then, you know,
[743.0s] split everything between them.
[745.5s] I want them to have it all
[746.5s] except for the dwarven thrower.
[748.5s] I want that to be sent back
[749.8s] to the king in Mithril Hall
[751.2s] so it can end up in the hands
[752.6s] of another dwarf champion.
[755.1s] Of course, yes.
[757.0s] And yeah, other than that, like, yeah,
[758.9s] some money for for my mom to be taken care of.
[764.7s] And if there's anything left over,
[767.4s] you know, give it to the dwarf orphanage.
[770.2s] The dwarf orphanage.
[770.8s] Dwarfinage.
[772.2s] The dwarfinage.
[773.3s] I have that written down, too.
[775.4s] I know it's like a fun combo word for a terrible thing.
[780.2s] But it's such a fun portmanteau.
[782.2s] Yeah, I mean, after after having a good
[786.3s] set of parents for my whole life,
[788.0s] hopefully I could help out
[790.1s] a young dwarf without any.
[791.4s] Yes.
[791.7s] No, those are noble places to send
[794.6s] whatever's left in the untimely event
[797.2s] that you seize to be with us.
[800.4s] Oh, Leo, some just say died.
[801.9s] It's OK.
[802.5s] I can't.
[802.8s] We know what we're getting into.
[805.7s] Legally, oh, legally.
[808.0s] Hmm.
[809.2s] Look, I've spoken with dead people before.
[810.9s] They don't like to be called that dead.
[814.1s] Do you talk with a lot of dead people?
[815.8s] Oh, my God.
[816.5s] Other side adventure.
[817.8s] Leo's and goes to the great beyond.
[820.6s] Leo's and ghost whisper.
[821.6s] Leo's and the success.
[822.5s] I mean, I was a monk before I was before I was a paper pusher.
[828.3s] I mean, I spoke with helped many people cross their paths.
[832.2s] Leo's and question for you.
[833.4s] Is the pen truly mightier than the sword?
[836.6s] I've never used a sword, but yes.
[839.5s] But I mean, some do.
[840.6s] If you have a if you have a firm legal, legal,
[844.5s] legal paperwork behind you, no sword can beat that.
[848.1s] All right.
[848.3s] Good to know a stack of papers in this battle, sir.
[852.8s] Next life.
[853.4s] I guess I'm going to be a lawyer.
[855.8s] I suggest it, but ask for weekends off.
[859.6s] Yeah, good call.
[860.2s] You do work too hard.
[861.1s] I do.
[861.7s] I do.
[862.2s] I really do.
[863.1s] I have a horse named Tiny.
[865.8s] Where is your horse?
[867.4s] Yeah.
[867.7s] Remember we had horses and they were very important to us.
[871.6s] They were so important.
[872.9s] Well, I remember we left them.
[874.5s] What happened to them?
[876.7s] Someone and then we're going to come back, go back and get them.
[879.8s] I'm pretty sure you left them at the stables here in Waterdeep.
[882.8s] And you left on an airship.
[885.6s] Yeah, because we did send the airship back to get them.
[888.4s] Yeah.
[889.0s] We just haven't been doing a lot of horse style travel.
[891.4s] It's true.
[892.7s] I would like, oh, what's his fuck to have it?
[899.5s] This is such an awesome lawyer trip.
[901.6s] I mean, I know he's not a lawyer,
[902.8s] but we're just like randomly throwing out things.
[905.9s] Delane.
[906.5s] Oh yeah, I just remembered I have this.
[908.1s] Oh yeah, about that other.
[909.1s] You would like Delane Winterhound to have your horse.
[912.3s] Does he know that this horse would be coming?
[914.2s] No.
[914.5s] That's just a pleasant surprise.
[915.9s] No, he does not.
[917.1s] Yeah, he'll just get a horse.
[918.4s] He'll be thrilled.
[919.1s] He'll know what it means.
[920.5s] Don't think he's.
[921.8s] Oh, oh, I do have one other thing now that comes to mind.
[927.1s] And I pull out the lucky loo.
[928.5s] Oh shit.
[929.1s] I say there was an old dude on an airship and I didn't get his name,
[934.3s] but I want this to go back to him.
[935.9s] Because you kind of stole it from him.
[938.7s] Well, I mean, I kind of stole it from him,
[940.3s] but it was with his blessing, I think.
[942.7s] Well, when you're holding something that belongs to someone else
[945.0s] and then you have to immediately go into battle,
[947.5s] I think it's just assume that now that's yours.
[949.5s] Yeah, I think I think they're like, yeah, that's cool.
[952.3s] And he totally probably had a name that started with a G.
[956.5s] I mean, I mean, it would be likely.
[960.5s] So laughing at my he'll know what it means to.
[964.0s] You need to keep better notes for us.
[965.3s] We've been throwing you weird random shit from like 30 episodes ago
[969.0s] and you're like, oh, I can't find it immediately.
[970.9s] I need better.
[971.5s] I mean, remembering these things document is what I need.
[975.0s] Someone needs to start a wiki.
[976.6s] Someone needs to start a Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[978.3s] Yeah, so I can like so I can search things.
[981.1s] I always think that, but I'm trying to look up my notes
[984.3s] and then it's like, I don't know.
[985.5s] It's like 60 fucking pages ago.
[987.5s] I can't find it.
[989.9s] Yeah, that's fair.
[990.7s] Searchable documents.
[992.7s] I mean, if you got nothing to do and you want to go back
[995.1s] and you want to like Wikipedia that stuff,
[997.7s] we wouldn't stop you.
[1000.7s] And we probably showed out tons of props to you.
[1003.1s] Tons of props.
[1004.9s] All the props.
[1005.3s] A lot of love.
[1006.3s] Send you, I'd send you a hoodie.
[1009.3s] Damn, Russ.
[1010.3s] Yeah, that's how much work that would have to do.
[1011.8s] No, wait, okay.
[1012.4s] Well, we've got to put a cap on this
[1014.3s] because if everybody goes out and does,
[1015.7s] I can't send everybody a hoodie.
[1017.3s] One wiki, the first person to complete it gets...
[1020.5s] First person to enact the wiki
[1023.9s] and get it moving gets the hoodie.
[1027.5s] Everybody else who follows can have some stickers.
[1031.1s] So incentive to get it on the ground floor.
[1034.2s] I see how this works.
[1036.3s] Uh, sorry.
[1038.6s] You had horses.
[1040.1s] Tiny going to Delaine Winterhound.
[1042.7s] Lucky Lou, sorry.
[1043.5s] Where did it was?
[1044.1s] Oh, he's going back to the ship, ship man.
[1046.8s] Yeah, the old, old dude on top of the airship that...
[1050.7s] I don't think I ever had his name.
[1051.9s] Wait, was this the airship that you took to Zanthal's tower?
[1058.3s] Yep, yeah, that's the one.
[1059.5s] The one that never made it back.
[1060.6s] Tragically shot down, wasn't it?
[1062.0s] Oh, Jesus Christ.
[1062.3s] Yeah.
[1063.2s] That guy doesn't exist here.
[1064.8s] Yep, that's your lucky Lou.
[1066.3s] Can you send it to some sort of like military museum in honor of him?
[1072.1s] Military museum, lucky Lou.
[1073.9s] In honor of the guy I can't remember whose name it is who let me...
[1076.6s] Yeah, in honor of that old dude.
[1079.0s] Yep, that's the one.
[1079.3s] There's probably like some sort of like, I don't know, list of the deceased.
[1087.5s] Well, I'm sure they have a sortable Excel spreadsheet
[1089.9s] that they can just look these things up with.
[1091.4s] Exactly, absolutely.
[1092.6s] An excellent spreadsheet.
[1094.3s] They can go to the airship wiki and track them down, no problem.
[1097.4s] Sounds like something that would be put in place.
[1101.9s] I'll get right on that.
[1103.3s] So, any other lucky Lou type objects amongst you
[1107.4s] that you would like to specifically specify?
[1109.4s] Otherwise, Nulara has some things to discuss with you two out in the hall.
[1115.5s] Discuss with you while we're out in the hall?
[1118.2s] Yes.
[1118.8s] Okay, because that's not what you said.
[1120.7s] All right.
[1121.0s] I've been working for a very long time.
[1122.8s] I'm done.
[1123.1s] That's fair.
[1123.5s] I'm done. Thank you, Leosin.
[1124.8s] Yeah, no, you can basically just melt the rest of my shit down.
[1127.5s] That's fine.
[1130.7s] Got it.
[1131.8s] Fire up the forge right now.
[1133.7s] Perfect.
[1135.8s] Was that a threat?
[1137.3s] Right?
[1139.8s] Guys, I'll just be a minute.
[1143.5s] I'll be out in a minute.
[1148.7s] Leosin, let's say hypothetically.
[1150.9s] Yes.
[1152.2s] Someone came into possession with an item
[1157.9s] that was hypothetically maybe evil.
[1167.5s] Who would you recommend they talk to about that?
[1174.0s] Well, how evil are we talking here?
[1181.3s] I mean, is that going to change your answer?
[1184.1s] I mean, we have people you can talk to.
[1187.8s] So, evil.
[1189.3s] Yeah, okay.
[1190.9s] Which item?
[1191.7s] Any experts here with like...
[1195.5s] I'm not sure I should say, Leosin.
[1197.9s] I'm not sure I should say.
[1199.1s] Oh, okay.
[1199.7s] But, you know, like, who's the expert around these parts about,
[1205.9s] you know, possessed kind of items?
[1209.1s] We do have access to many, many mages, wizards.
[1215.2s] The Arcane Brotherhood has been working very close with us.
[1217.6s] If there's an item that is of concern...
[1223.1s] Are you okay?
[1229.1s] Mostly.
[1230.7s] Okay.
[1231.5s] I mean, if I could talk to someone, you know,
[1233.9s] before we go fight the big bad, that'd be good.
[1236.5s] Arvid, if it's possible.
[1239.5s] I'll see.
[1240.5s] What about like, you know, Supercreep?
[1245.9s] You know, Arvin?
[1247.8s] Arvid, yes.
[1249.9s] I mean, he may know something.
[1253.1s] I know he primarily deals in the potions
[1257.2s] and other alchemical devices.
[1262.4s] But you could definitely talk to him.
[1264.4s] I know he sent me a note that he would like to see all of you
[1267.1s] before you actually do head out.
[1269.2s] So, I mean, that could be an easy stop for you.
[1272.9s] Okay, well, you know, I'll ask him.
[1274.7s] But if you think of someone who, you know, this...
[1278.3s] Seems like it might be their thing.
[1279.5s] Maybe send me a note.
[1281.1s] Let me know.
[1281.5s] It would really help if I knew a little bit more
[1283.9s] as to narrow that down.
[1285.1s] But I trust that you cannot say.
[1291.6s] An enchanted magical evil item.
[1294.2s] Okay, I will do my best to find somebody
[1297.9s] who might be able to help you.
[1300.3s] Awesome.
[1300.9s] Thanks, Leosan.
[1301.9s] Of course.
[1302.7s] So then I go meet my friends in the hall.
[1307.5s] Okay, you guys are out in the hall.
[1310.7s] What do you think that's about?
[1313.8s] Probably the dagger, right?
[1315.7s] Yeah, probably the dagger.
[1317.9s] Since I said you should ask Leosan about it.
[1320.2s] Yeah.
[1320.4s] Although I don't.
[1322.0s] I worry that there's so much more to it
[1325.4s] that she's not telling us because...
[1329.1s] Yeah, like she...
[1329.6s] We're not in that room right now.
[1330.7s] She would have been able to like...
[1332.0s] She would have told us, right?
[1335.1s] But then she said like she didn't...
[1337.7s] She didn't think she could
[1339.0s] or she didn't want to or whatever.
[1340.3s] Like, I don't know.
[1340.8s] This is super weird.
[1341.5s] She said she didn't want to.
[1343.5s] But there was a long pause before that.
[1345.9s] I feel...
[1346.7s] I don't know.
[1347.2s] I just...
[1347.8s] I feel like it's really weird.
[1349.6s] Can I roll to see whether or not
[1350.8s] I've read about like enchantments on items
[1354.6s] like controlling people's actions?
[1357.1s] History check, like...
[1358.3s] I mean, you've already rolled and checked all this.
[1359.9s] Did I?
[1360.3s] You guys found it.
[1361.2s] And I didn't.
[1362.1s] And you didn't...
[1363.9s] Like you detected that it was magic.
[1366.2s] You detected it was an enchantment.
[1367.9s] You detected all that.
[1369.5s] But you knew nothing else.
[1372.4s] So there's never been another recorded case.
[1375.5s] Maybe that's why she's done some like
[1377.1s] research on the subject in the meantime.
[1379.8s] Sure.
[1380.3s] Okay, let me try.
[1381.8s] We're going to go with a hissy fit.
[1385.9s] The history check.
[1387.9s] Roll for a hissy fit.
[1389.9s] 18.
[1391.3s] Let's get a history check.
[1392.3s] Came across nothing.
[1395.9s] Okay, if she's feeling compelled by this
[1400.4s] and it's making her get up in the middle of the night
[1403.3s] and walk in her sleep and murder people...
[1406.3s] Yeah, this like sleepwalking thing is a big concern.
[1410.6s] Well, when she stabbed Thaddeus,
[1412.7s] she had no recollection of it.
[1415.7s] But she actively remembers murdering this guy
[1419.5s] for no reason other than she had to.
[1422.7s] Yeah, I mean, it's pretty nuts.
[1425.5s] I don't really know.
[1427.8s] How are we going to help her with this?
[1431.5s] How are we going to trust her with this?
[1434.2s] Yeah, that too.
[1434.9s] Yeah, so that was a pretty cool party last night.
[1441.3s] Hey, what are you guys talking about out here?
[1443.1s] How did it go in there?
[1444.7s] Um, good, I think.
[1447.5s] Or, yeah, it was fine.
[1449.1s] You know, Leosa.
[1450.3s] Yeah.
[1451.8s] Yeah.
[1452.9s] Um, did you talk about the dagger?
[1456.5s] Yeah, yeah, he's gonna...
[1458.6s] Well, he said, you know,
[1460.0s] and I think we're gonna go see Arvid anyway, right?
[1464.7s] Get some stuff.
[1465.5s] And he said maybe I could talk to him and see if,
[1468.3s] I don't know, he might have someone else I can talk to about it.
[1470.7s] But, I mean, we're gonna go see that super weirdo anyway.
[1473.7s] So may as well ask, right?
[1476.7s] Super weirdo.
[1477.6s] Leosa steps out the door and says,
[1479.0s] once you're done seeing Arvid,
[1480.5s] make sure you come back to the council chamber
[1484.7s] and everybody will have gathered to discuss final assets
[1490.4s] before everybody heads out.
[1492.6s] All right, Arvid, we go.
[1495.0s] Hi-o, hi-o.
[1496.8s] You head down to Arvid's.
[1498.8s] Oh.
[1500.9s] Every time, every time.
[1503.4s] Well, at least I'm consistent.
[1504.3s] Arvid!
[1508.7s] Yep.
[1509.4s] The door opens into the sterile...
[1512.6s] Awkward with his sister, Simone, and then Thaddeus.
[1516.2s] Yeah.
[1517.9s] Arvid, Simone, Thaddeus, do, do.
[1522.5s] Do, do, do, do.
[1525.4s] The door opens into the sterile-like chambers
[1529.1s] of the alchemist Arvid of Innistrad,
[1533.5s] who is standing with his back to the door.
[1536.0s] And as you step in, he says, oh, hello.
[1539.6s] Man, and I was gonna run up and tickle him from behind.
[1544.3s] Can't sneak up on me, Thea.
[1550.3s] He's the best.
[1551.7s] Ugh.
[1553.2s] I feel violated from that.
[1561.2s] Hello.
[1561.9s] How's it going?
[1562.7s] It's me, your dungeon master, Russ More.
[1564.7s] Thanks for joining us for episode 73 of
[1567.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, preparing for a road trip.
[1571.1s] I'm kicking things off today with a big thank you to you.
[1575.1s] We love you for coming along with us on this crazy adventure.
[1578.2s] And as we get ever closer to the end of this arc,
[1581.3s] it is surreal to think that we as players have been playing this game
[1585.6s] for over three years with these characters.
[1587.9s] And they're still living.
[1589.4s] I know, it's crazy.
[1591.0s] We've been releasing episodes for more than two years.
[1593.5s] And you've been along with us on this wild and crazy ride.
[1596.7s] So thank you for sharing the show, talking to your friends,
[1599.9s] and supporting us through comments and feedback
[1602.3s] and on Patreon and helping us make the show better each and every week.
[1607.5s] So again, thank you.
[1609.7s] We love you.
[1611.0s] Next, I want to get you some free stuff.
[1613.3s] All you got to do is join us on the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group,
[1617.9s] which is an amazing group of people who are getting together to talk about D&D
[1622.2s] and some amazing actual play podcasts like Dark Dice,
[1625.6s] The End of Time and Other Bothers, The Lucky Die, and Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[1629.8s] That's us.
[1630.3s] Hey, yeah, we're over there.
[1631.8s] And if you join the group before the end of January,
[1634.4s] you'll be entered to win a D&D 5e book or PDF version,
[1638.1s] whichever you prefer, that is missing from your collection.
[1640.9s] If you miss out this month, don't worry,
[1643.4s] we'll be doing more giveaways for the people in that group.
[1646.5s] So there will always be a chance to jump on the bandwagon
[1649.3s] and come along for the ride
[1650.5s] and come join the great conversations we're having over there.
[1653.3s] And finally, if you are liking what we're doing
[1655.5s] and you want to support the show a little more,
[1657.3s] you can find and interact with us on Patreon,
[1659.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1662.0s] where for as little as one dollar a month,
[1664.1s] you'll be making the show better with each and every episode,
[1666.3s] that's for sure.
[1667.1s] But also you get in on some amazing perks like bonus episodes,
[1671.1s] unedited Skype calls for our recording sessions,
[1673.8s] private Discord channels, and so much more.
[1676.6s] Again, and only if you can, because we know, we know money.
[1680.5s] That's Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1683.4s] And we hope to see you over there.
[1685.1s] You can find all the links that you could ever need
[1687.5s] or the ones that I've mentioned today
[1688.9s] down in the description for this episode.
[1691.0s] A final thanks to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere.
[1694.2s] Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
[1696.5s] to bring your games to life.
[1697.9s] The next episode will be out Wednesday, February 6th,
[1700.7s] which starts a series of episodes that we recorded at PodCon.
[1704.1s] And the first one is with Travis Vangroff
[1706.7s] of Dark Dice, White Vault and Liberty podcast
[1709.5s] and Sean Howard of The End of Time and Other Bothers
[1712.1s] and Alba Salix.
[1713.7s] Super fun.
[1715.0s] Can't wait for you to hear it.
[1716.3s] That's coming out next week.
[1717.7s] But for now, let's get back and see what Flint and Thea
[1720.2s] are up to.
[1721.2s] Maybe they'll pick up some road snacks on their way out.
[1724.0s] Who knows?
[1725.4s] Have a great week.
[1726.3s] We'll talk soon.
[1732.7s] Hey, Arvid.
[1734.6s] Hello.
[1735.1s] How's it going?
[1736.8s] Marvelous, marvelous.
[1738.9s] You've come to see me before you head out, yes?
[1742.3s] Yeah, Leosin mentioned you wanted to see us
[1746.0s] and then I want to talk to you about something also.
[1749.8s] I mean, I did tell you to come see me
[1752.4s] so that was just a reminder,
[1754.0s] but it appears you have forgotten.
[1757.2s] Oh, yeah, we we forget a lot of things.
[1760.4s] We all just went home.
[1761.8s] It was, you know, it's nothing personal.
[1764.2s] We got a lot on our plates.
[1765.7s] I get it.
[1766.4s] I get back from vacation.
[1767.9s] Your brain isn't quite working yet, you know.
[1773.2s] Yes.
[1773.6s] Well, I have a gift for you.
[1780.0s] Oh, like, like for all of us?
[1782.8s] Yes, yes, for the for the three of you.
[1785.3s] Oh, cool.
[1787.5s] Hold, hold, please.
[1789.9s] Is there fun hold music for us?
[1793.3s] He opens up a box and it begins a soft lullaby-esque song.
[1803.6s] We're thinking really creepy.
[1805.0s] Like any minute a clown on a tricycle might come around a corner.
[1809.3s] We will find out in post.
[1811.3s] Oh, what a fun game.
[1815.0s] So react accordingly as he runs into the back room.
[1819.9s] What do you what do you guys think this gift is?
[1823.1s] I don't know, but hopefully it's not a music box.
[1825.1s] That thing's fucking creepy.
[1826.7s] Hopefully it's not a wet sword.
[1829.1s] Hey, I already got one of those.
[1830.2s] Wouldn't it be disgusting to own one of those?
[1832.6s] How embarrassing would it be to own two of those?
[1835.5s] Then you'd just be wet sword guy.
[1837.7s] I mean, I kind of already am a wet sword guy now, but.
[1840.6s] But if you had two, it would like.
[1842.3s] Oh, just really double down on it.
[1844.8s] Yeah, he comes back in carrying a chest about two feet by a foot,
[1850.5s] wooden chest, intricately carved, and he places it down in front of you.
[1857.5s] This is this is for you.
[1860.0s] Some things I've been working on that may help you.
[1864.5s] I mean, we'll we'll always take all the help we can get.
[1868.4s] Good.
[1869.9s] Is it should we is it the box because it's beautiful?
[1874.0s] Or should we open the should we open the box or?
[1877.6s] You might open the box.
[1879.5s] There are things inside of the box.
[1881.1s] I mean, I didn't want to insult the gift if the gift was the box.
[1883.9s] Yeah, I mean, if we were expecting more,
[1885.8s] then that would just be awkward for everyone.
[1887.9s] Yeah, I understand.
[1889.1s] I see the error in my ways.
[1891.7s] Next time I will write open box on the box.
[1896.8s] You should know that.
[1898.0s] Well, just it takes any question out of the situation.
[1900.7s] So, yes, yes, of course.
[1904.4s] Hmm.
[1905.5s] Well, as you as as you at your leisure, do it now, do it later.
[1911.8s] Whatever you like.
[1912.6s] I do have one question before we open the box.
[1915.5s] Is there a snoring dog back there?
[1918.6s] Yeah.
[1920.0s] As a matter of fact, there is.
[1922.3s] I have recently acquired a small, small Kenan companion.
[1927.9s] To keep me company.
[1928.9s] Oh, that's awesome.
[1929.8s] That's nice, Arvin.
[1931.4s] What's its name?
[1934.1s] Jared.
[1935.2s] Oh, that's a great name for a dog.
[1938.0s] I thought so.
[1939.9s] Quiet, Jared, go back to sleep.
[1941.9s] I'd like to open the box.
[1942.9s] I hate surprises and secrets.
[1946.0s] You open the box.
[1946.9s] I open the box.
[1947.6s] There are five vials of varying colors.
[1951.9s] Is one of them yellow?
[1952.9s] I would really like one of them to be the exact shade of yellow the other one is.
[1958.7s] So then Amy doesn't know which one is which.
[1961.5s] She goes to take it.
[1963.3s] I use that.
[1964.1s] I actually use that one.
[1965.2s] Yeah.
[1965.6s] One of them are.
[1966.7s] One of them are yellow.
[1967.6s] One of them is yellow.
[1969.2s] One of them are yellow.
[1972.4s] One of them is yellow in color.
[1975.5s] The others.
[1976.7s] Actually, last night while we were.
[1979.5s] Okay, you talk about this.
[1980.4s] Last night while we were having our fun drinks and stuff, I slipped my yellow potion into
[1986.8s] Flammekin's drink.
[1989.7s] She has to fight yellow.
[1992.4s] Because how long does it last?
[1996.2s] Like 12 hours, I think you said?
[1997.5s] No, it was like a thousand weeks.
[1999.4s] Oh, no, it was like a thousand weeks.
[2001.5s] Yeah, it was a long time.
[2003.1s] Didn't you make him give you an antidote potion?
[2005.7s] That's how you got rid of it.
[2006.9s] I did because I didn't want to see Delaine yellow.
[2011.5s] Yeah.
[2012.4s] Okay, so there's five potions, Russ?
[2014.6s] Yes, there are five potions that you see.
[2018.4s] Each have a band of what looks to be tape and quick handwriting on them.
[2026.9s] The first one has a name that says Life Essence.
[2031.5s] The second, Andres Gojuice.
[2035.6s] Amazing.
[2036.4s] I love it.
[2038.7s] Now, is Gojuice hyphenated or is it?
[2042.5s] Two separate, two separate words.
[2044.8s] The third, Hidden Talents.
[2048.8s] The fourth, Glass Jelly.
[2051.9s] And the fifth, Bee Knees.
[2055.9s] Bee Knees.
[2057.7s] Now, do we know what they do, Russ?
[2060.6s] There's nothing on the bottles to distinguish what they do.
[2064.3s] Hey, what do these do?
[2065.5s] Excuse me, excuse me.
[2066.5s] I must take Jared out for a quick walk.
[2069.1s] They will help you when you need them.
[2071.5s] And he quickly leaves the room.
[2074.3s] Okay, so I guess we got like some some mystery stuff here.
[2078.8s] If you want colors to go along with them,
[2081.3s] Life Essence is a red Glimering liquid.
[2085.6s] Andres Gojuice is a clear liquid which looks like it has a large fingernail.
[2094.3s] Floating in it.
[2095.6s] Hidden Talents, you pick it up.
[2099.1s] It appears empty, but as you pick it up,
[2101.2s] it feels like it has the weight of a liquid within it.
[2106.3s] The Glass Jelly, it appears to be a gelatinous oil that sparkles
[2112.9s] with ultra thin shards of silver.
[2117.9s] And Bee Knees appears to be a yellow liquid.
[2123.6s] Well, I'll hold any any of them except for Bee's Knees.
[2126.7s] I'll take Bee Knees because I love bees.
[2130.6s] It's a little nod to Ty's fan art.
[2136.0s] Because I never did get a bee companion, so.
[2139.7s] No, you didn't.
[2141.5s] Russ?
[2141.9s] I will take Life Essence.
[2149.1s] I kind of want Andres Gojuice,
[2150.7s] but if someone else wants it too, that's fine.
[2153.7s] That's got a fingernail in it.
[2155.0s] I'll pass.
[2155.5s] What about you, Nularaaaa?
[2157.0s] I mean, whatever.
[2158.5s] I'll take whatever's left, I guess.
[2163.1s] There are three left.
[2164.7s] Right.
[2164.9s] I didn't mean I'd take all three.
[2166.6s] I just meant you guys pick your faves.
[2168.3s] I'll take what's left.
[2169.4s] I'm sure they're all great.
[2171.5s] I'll take Hidden Talents then.
[2174.3s] All right.
[2174.7s] I'll take Bee Knees for sure.
[2177.1s] And then if nobody wants Andres Gojuice, I'll take it.
[2179.7s] Thea picks up Glass Jelly and puts it into Nularaaaa's.
[2188.9s] You take this one.
[2190.6s] If only we knew what these did.
[2193.1s] I'm excited to find out.
[2194.5s] Me too.
[2195.8s] He wouldn't give us anything harmful, right?
[2199.9s] I mean, he's a weirdo.
[2201.6s] He's a weirdo, but he's only mostly been helpful, right?
[2207.1s] He's only ever been helpful as far as I know.
[2209.1s] Yeah, so, you know.
[2211.5s] All right.
[2211.7s] Well, if the guild trusts him and the council trusts him,
[2218.1s] death by mystery potion or death by dragon?
[2220.3s] Yeah, exactly.
[2221.8s] One might be funnier.
[2223.2s] If the door's going to open one way or the other,
[2225.0s] you might as well have some fun with it, right?
[2226.7s] Exactly.
[2229.5s] Thanks, Ardyn.
[2235.0s] Arvid.
[2236.4s] Arvin.
[2237.6s] Arvid.
[2238.0s] You didn't even write down his name on your notes.
[2239.9s] You wrote down Creepy Dude.
[2242.9s] Because I couldn't remember his name when I was writing the notes.
[2245.9s] Arvid.
[2247.4s] You don't hear anything because he's left the building.
[2249.3s] I mean, he's gone.
[2249.8s] It was a weird way to give a gift.
[2251.2s] He was like, here's some presents.
[2252.5s] Gotta walk my dog.
[2253.7s] Here's some presents.
[2254.6s] And before I tell you what they do, I gotta leave.
[2257.9s] You didn't get to ask him about your dagger.
[2259.5s] I know, he's tricksy.
[2261.1s] I mean, he mostly, as Leosin did point out, he is like an alchemist.
[2265.1s] So it's not exactly his wheelhouse.
[2269.6s] But I just expect him to know general creepiness stuff.
[2276.7s] That's OK.
[2277.8s] Leosin's going to hook me up with, I don't know, someone or something.
[2284.6s] Let's go back up to the council room.
[2285.9s] Yeah, let's get up there.
[2289.7s] I don't like going up there, you guys.
[2291.1s] I just want to say.
[2291.9s] Me neither.
[2292.5s] I like being in that room.
[2293.5s] It's not my favorite place.
[2294.4s] Do you feel like we've done a heck of a lot of work for them and get very little like,
[2301.1s] I don't want to congratulations, but I would like fewer scowls when we walk into a room.
[2306.3s] Yeah, and like a little more guidance on what we should be doing.
[2311.2s] Yeah, yeah, I got to agree with both of you.
[2315.9s] All right, let's go.
[2317.5s] Like they're our parents and we're always in trouble.
[2319.7s] It's a weird vibe.
[2320.9s] Yeah, it is.
[2323.1s] Like we did what they asked and then some and they're still not satisfied.
[2327.0s] I'm like, well, I don't see you out there.
[2329.7s] And you make it up the stairs and back to the council chamber where there's an open
[2335.7s] door and a filled chamber with all of the leaders of the various factions.
[2341.9s] And as you step through the doors, there is an uproarious applause.
[2347.9s] As we begged him for it.
[2349.5s] Some of them appear to be scowling as they clap,
[2353.1s] but like they've been told that this is what is important right now.
[2358.8s] A boost in morale is what's needed.
[2361.0s] You get the feeling.
[2363.1s] Thank you for your half-hearted applause, folks.
[2366.0s] It's kind of weird, right, guys?
[2367.6s] Like, were they just listening to us?
[2369.1s] Like, I don't know.
[2370.1s] Yeah, anyhow, anyway, but I still kind of like it.
[2373.9s] I don't know.
[2374.7s] It feels good.
[2383.9s] You take your seat around the table.
[2385.5s] I flip my chair around.
[2387.4s] Cool substitute teacher style.
[2389.1s] I'm about to talk with the kids.
[2390.4s] Yeah, I don't know.
[2391.0s] Question, Russ, before I sit down, does the applause start to wane as I sit down
[2395.9s] and then I like stand back up and they have to like re-up with it?
[2400.3s] Do we live for the applause?
[2401.9s] Applause?
[2402.8s] Applause?
[2405.4s] Yeah, how many times does Flint do that?
[2407.3s] Just one time.
[2409.9s] It definitely does it.
[2411.5s] All right, cool.
[2412.0s] He kind of nods to himself like, all right.
[2415.1s] You catch Leosan's eye and he's looking at you
[2417.4s] and he's clapping the loudest and he gives you a little wink like,
[2420.7s] maybe he told them.
[2423.8s] And I kind of give him the old like
[2425.5s] two thumps on the chest right back at him.
[2433.4s] And Lady Leral Silverhand stands up and says,
[2438.2s] we are all gathered here today because we are about to embark on the final battle,
[2446.8s] hopefully the most victorious battle.
[2453.0s] We have assets from all the factions around Faerun and beyond,
[2457.4s] and we must decide where best they are needed.
[2462.4s] Music.
[2479.2s] In today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
[2484.2s] So if I start the wiki, can I have the?
[2487.0s] You've got a hoodie upstairs.
[2489.5s] I love hoodies.
[2491.8s] You know how tempted I am to wear your hoodie?
[2494.6s] Like you just, if it gets to you smelling like me.
[2501.9s] I'm never going to wash it.
[2504.3s] I'll lock it in a glass display case.
[2507.9s] Weird.
[2509.0s] It's weirder than what I said.
[2511.5s] You win.
[2511.9s] Well, had to up the ante somehow.
[2514.4s] Put your headphones back on.
[2516.2s] I don't want to now.
[2518.1s] Yeah, we live like this now, Russ.
[2521.9s] I literally just started waving so that Tom would see,
[2525.5s] so that he could put his headphones back on.
[2527.4s] You were waving?
[2528.0s] Tom and I are definitely going to get this camera situation sorted out.
[2531.7s] Why are you being so weird?
[2533.5s] Because the door opened and we were talking about it.
[2537.9s] Hey, what are you guys talking about out here?
[2539.5s] Did you say that in front of her?
[2543.5s] Flynn, why are you being so weird?
[2544.5s] Because the door opened and we were talking about her.
[2546.3s] I just wanted to change the subject.
[2549.3s] What's its name?
[2551.2s] Jared.
[2560.3s] What an odd name.
[2562.3s] What an odd go-to name to just pluck from the ether.
[2566.5s] What's that store in the mall?
[2567.8s] It's like Arlene.
[2568.7s] Is that the thing?
[2572.2s] Arlene's, yeah.
[2575.1s] Arlene's is the hip store for tweens.
[2578.5s] Yeah, it's like the ear piercing store, right?
[2580.6s] Arlene's is like the 40 to 60.
[2584.7s] Sure, totally.
[2586.6s] Arlene.
[2587.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.